I Grieve
by Lilykakes
Summary: My first X-Files fanfiction. This story is post "All Souls" from season 5. I always thought it should of had more M&S scenes. Mulder wants to make sure Scully is alright after this last case hit her close to home.


**I GRIEVE. **

_ The drive to Scully's house seemed like it took hours, though it was merely 15 minutes. Even walking in her building up to her door seemed to take a lifetime. Apartment 35… there it is. I stop right before knocking. What are you doing Mulder? Its 12:30 in the morning, I'm sure she is sleeping. But, I can't walk away, not like this. It's been 2 days since Scully had her last vision of Emily. I can't stop thinking about what she is feeling, what she is going through. I want to be there to hold her hand, hug her, tell her everything is going to be alright, you'll get through this, _we'll_ get through this. Now, might not be the right time… but when is? _

_ I lightly knock, but she doesn't answer so I use the spare key she gave me. And the door opens almost as if on its own - there she is, asleep… on her couch curled up in a ball. She is covered in a thin blanket, looks like a bed sheet. The white tank top she is wearing rode up her stomach a little exposing her white flesh. When I walk towards her I notice her face is wet, wet from tears. Oh my God, she's even crying in her sleep. My heart breaks in every possible way as I see the wrinkles on her forehead become more noticeable. God damn! I told her, I told her to back away from this case, she was taking it too personal and it was scaring me, but she wouldn't listen. That's Scully - So damn stubborn. _

"Oh Scully…"

_ I kneel down next to her sleeping form and tuck a few stray hairs behind her ear. She stirs a little but doesn't wake. Her mouth opens slightly and I hear faint whispers coming from her, calling for Emily and then the tears come. The tears flowing freely from her sleeping face making the circles under her eyes even darker. Is that even possible? I quickly decide against waking her, she needs her sleep… I'm betting she hasn't sleep since the case with the quadruplet sisters._

_ I slowly pull the thin sheet off her body and prop in on the arm of the couch. She must be freezing, that was not a proper blanket for this type of night. I move back over to Scully and delicately pull her shirt down to cover her stomach, but in doing so my fingers brush against her bare skin and its ice cold! She needs a worm bed, fast. I'm afraid to pick her up though. She looks so broken, so fragile. What if I picked her up and she broke into a million piece? God, what am I thinking she's not glass, she a beautiful heart broken woman and needs a warm bed. Take her there, Mulder! _

_ After a moment of self doubt I slowly begin to pick her up, placing my right arm under her head and my left under her legs. She's light as a feather. I always imagined that this is what it would feel like to carry Scully. I slowly stand from the floor and begin walking to her bedroom, one place I have never dared to enter. But, right now her privacy was the last thing on my mind. I worry about her, worry about her so damn much. _

_ Just my luck, the sheets on her bed were already pulled down. I place Scully down on her bed and pull on of the pillows out from under her head so she could lie down comfortably. A faint sob is released from her mouth and I see a few more tears stain her cheeks. As I pull the sheets up to her shoulders I wipe the tears from under her eyes with my free hand. When I move back a little to look at her whole she's turns facing towards me and clutches her comforter tightly to her chest like a child and their safety blanket._

"Goodnight Scully" _is all I say before turning to leave._

"Mulder...?" _I turn quickly only to see Scully beginning to rise from her bed whipping her eyes. Way to go Mulder, you woke her up. Dumbass._

"Shhh… lay down Scully, you need your rest"

"Mulder, what are you doing here?" _She squints at her clock trying to read the glowing red numbers – _"It's almost 1 in the morning... and I could of sworn I was on my couch." _Scully looks more confused than ever, which makes me crack a smile._

_ I kneel down next to her just as I did when she was on her couch._ "I know, I know… I'm sorry. I just really needed to see if you were alright" _I dangle the spare key that was given to me in front of her and smile. She rubs her eyes still in sleep mode and focuses on the keys. There's that eyebrow raise I was expecting. _"And I figured you would be more comfortable in a warm bed. You were freezing on the couch."

"Great, I give out one key and get people watching me sleep at all hours of the night."_ God, her sarcasm always makes me laugh. But, suddenly she looks like she is about to cry again, lays her head back on her pillow and just stares past me out her window. Come on Mulder, talk to her… idiot! _

_ I move closer, prop and elbow on her bed and brush more hair behind her ear. She doesn't move, doesn't look away from the window. It's like she can't even look at me. Geez, she won't even look at you! _

"Come on Scully, talk to me please!" _I say grabbing her hand with both of mine. As if caught off guard she finally pulls her gaze away from the window and back at me. Oh, here we go more tears. I quickly sit up onto her bed and pull her into a tight embrace. She hesitates a moment but then gives in and puts her arms around my waist. Tears, chocking sobs and more tears begin to soak my shoulder but I don't care. I move one hand from her back up to her head and start to run my fingers through her hair._

"Shh, please Dana, please… talk to me. It's all going to be okay. I promise." _Within a few minutes her sobs become lighter as her crying becomes softer and I move my hands to her face and pull her away, arms length to take a good look at her. I kiss her forehead, lingering there for a few moments then rest my head against hers, hands still cupping her face… _"You'll get through this Scully. _We'll_ get through this. I swear."

** TO BE CONTINUED!**

* * *

So, what do you think? Like it? Love it? Hate it? Is it a waste of space? Should I post more? Please tell me! Just remember, this is my FIRST X-Files Fan Fic... and my first story in MONTHS. It's a little rusty. (: But, hey... I wrote it at 2 am and now its 4:30 am! (passes out) If You all want more... I can have a couple more chapters for you! ;D

Lily.


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